out here

by fiona keenan

out here Cover Art
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04:53
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04:30
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FIK002

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released 15 December 2010
all sounds, singing, recording and mixing by fiona keenan
mister ward churchill features on track 4, hopefully he doesn't mind.

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about

i am a music and sound maker, and started an msc in sound design at the university of edinburgh in september 2011. my online ... more releases live here on bandcamp , and my sound pieces are online on soundcloud. i have a blog on wordpress to document my electronics and sound design projects. less

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Track Name: out here
wider-eyed then, a truer believer
hung on the advice of tarot card readers
then betrayed by your eager self
and that button you pinned on saying 'here to help'
and that ever-present doubt
a regular hero till your heart gave out

new sights to focus a worried mind on
and that all the while added more meat to your bone
but each disappointment lent itself to fresh intent
which only goes to show
that the answer remains unknown
and you are still
out here

so now you've pared your pencil for another list
and you've begun to call this work now
which is what it is
and the reason you're in bloom
is you let go each excuse
and just caught sight of that line
you've been walking all the time
Track Name: all day in rehearsal
all day in rehearsal
twice over in my mind
practiced for that sunshine
as you go walking by
bordering on clever
measured and profound
you'd think by now that i would know
just how to put this down

a sticky situation
and my teenage self agrees
as we watch the world put suits and ties
on our spontaneity
and what is known as romance
is really a flame still lit
that jumps in recognition of
another one like it

never a four-poster
no cinematic night
i would like to know though
how you keep alive
i see us making something
measured and profound
holding hands two jitterbugs
as we burn this office down
Track Name: well meant
if i told you i kissed you just to get to know you
and that was all the reasoning i needed to hold you
you know, my intentions were better than most
but some mistakes are just built into us

besides, your body never revealed you to me
you kept up your pretenses even in your sleep

you know your family foundation is with you to the end
you climb that stairs and it's out that window
that you train your lens
while well-meant minds are tagging migrating birds
as if there's more than necessity to blame
for the way things always were

and if home is a lesson, believe me it will bruise
something long ago laid out that you don't get to choose

having only just had the strength to unpack
my faulty compass and the reasons for that
and each lonely landing that got handed down
i see now your apology is missing
and my excuse is still shuffling along
but i hesitate now
before acting on

if i told you i kissed you just to get to know you
if i told you i kissed you just to get to know you
if i told you i kissed you just to get to know you
if i told you i would kiss you
just to get to know you
Track Name: is it time to rue the day that aberdeen struck oil?
outside marischal college a row of brightly coloured tents
a mannie with a clipboard and i asked him what it meant
he said the council budget had cut homeless relief
so just to illustrate the point they were sleeping in the street

a starved-out public sector while the private's overfed
a higher GDP per capita means a lower settlement per head
the government can't help out the richest patch of scottish soil
so tell me is it time to rue the day that aberdeen struck oil?

lets ask other oil-rich nations if this feels the same
as when their local resource was auctioned off for private gain
the niger delta's running red
angola's sprawling slums
what kind of life outside those compounds filled with our engineers and hired guns?

yes we need 'a brighter outlook' but where we go from here depends
i mean, that's an us-and-them mentality fortifying the west end
and those nurses in the maty are teaching abstinence from birth
and the gulf between's getting ever-wide
we must act for all we're worth

so don't say we didn't warn them, those CEO bigwigs
and let the cry go up now - 'we are taking back the rigs'
to seize us some inheritance and spread some good around
before conglomerates squeeze the last drop
and scuttle out of town
Track Name: that bell
darlin' can you hear that bell?
sounds like they are calling time
and rolling out welfare to work
and carving up the bottom line
we never tasted buoyancy
or the crash of negative equity
but our kingdom too was built and owned
on the illusion of control
and it pulls you in
it's a hopeless thing
just what a body could do without

my handbrake turn on all we planned
ever since she went and threw her hand
still can't figure if i did enough
and i'm sure i don't know how to love
all those eyes that turn themselves away
when it whispers inside all i say
you too darlin' i could tell
guess nobody knows me very well
and it pulls you in
it's a hopeless thing
just what a body could do without

hearts long broke will still pump on
ask the depressed and overdrawn
am i so strong that it looks easy?
bet that's what you don't miss about me
bracing for the next big shock
your name's still on the letterbox
ordinary now, with smaller hopes
we've joined the ranks of those restless ghosts
and it pulls you in
it's a hopeless thing
just what a body could do without
Track Name: a warning shot
i tried hard not to see
that i needed to so much
strolling past the obvious
till you kicked it into touch
you fired a warning shot
in the nick of time
said if this is really what you want
get your heart back into line

from the fire in your fingertips
to the taste inside your mouth
i go shaky just from singing it
and i have to go without
and the me that untied herself from you
is nowhere to be seen
that i never managed to
i'm sure is what that means

can't hold you to all you said
and so i say too much
can't keep cool and be practical
cuz practical just sucks
and the pace of my dreams
and the light of the moon
all the notes between notes
they point out the same tune
they fire a warning shot
oh from time to time
say this is really what you want